Acutely aware of her demise, she sat confounded.
Disappointed in herself, it was an enormous giant
A giant rock, chaotic ruin,
losing herself in a maze of memories
bewildered and confused.
Sometimes acutely distinct,
where there was no path of finality.
She recognized defeat, a lifelong dream.
On top of a scape of the tall buildings,
flooded with moonlight that shined to the streets below.
The dim light lay smooth and shining on a cool summer night,
denied the life she so desperately deserved.
So determinedly denied of a little luxury.
Learning to cope in a foreign land,
a world dark, dreary and cold.
Hungry and alone, scared, frightened.
Which way to go?
Nowhere to turn when there are no shelters for women,
Nowhere for your mother.
Nowhere for your daughter and she winds up dead
and they say because of drugs or alcohol.
Her husband died, her children left home years ago.
The pension ran out, they repossessed the house.
She is on the streets with a $200 monthly medication bill.
With food stamps and nowhere to cook or to store food.
With a hand cart and a walking stick.
A young boy walks by and screams at her, Get a job.
The girl next to him says back, Oh they want to live like that!
Stuff does happen in life.
But in reality, as the Bible says, love they neighbor as thyself.
Is that what those young people did?
That is not love.
And adults do it, too.
I look into his eyes. I become nauseated almost immediately. I turn away and think what have they seen? He is lying on the ground in a fetal position, looking like he is resting. A beer can is lying on the ground in front of his face. A black and blue bruised face at that, until I took a second look at him. The face was behind his hands which he held knuckles to knuckles in front of him. What his wife was thinking of, wondering where he was, gone all night. I gazed at the ring that was a stunning gold one with a shimmering, glowing diamond. He was pale.
What was wrong with his eyes, I wondered. Then, the morning was cold, wet and brisk, it dawned on me that I did not see his breath, nor had his body moved either. Those damned eerie eyes, I thought as I looked to them again. What was wrong with them? Crazy, I thought of being possibly scared of them. As he laid there on the cold and wet ground, I noticed he was dressed in a brand new pair of acid-washed Levis. No, he must not be a “bum” or homeless, I thought.
Fuck, man, something is wrong with those damned eyes. What was it. Then I noticed on the ground behind his head were two "rigs" or "points." One of them was unused, cap orange, that I saw. The other was used, probably for getting well, but by who, I thought. I decided then to wake him up by kicking his foot. As I did this, his whole body stiffly jarred in movement as my foot hit his. I then realized with a scared feeling deep in my soul, He’s dead. My God! Oh shit! He’s dead. My eyes instantly traveled to his face again, noticing now what really was wrong with those eyes. They were starting to rot from the inside out! I just stared into the rotting eyes. After a few moments, I quickly escaped the area. All I can think about is what those eyes have seen.