Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Pooh to those turkeys who always jump the gun. Judgmental bastards. You just stick to your instincts, your own oddball way in the world. Play their personality games and you’ll lose sight of what makes you you.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Check for new bumps this week. As you get older, they’ll start popping up in the darndest places. Friend or foe, it’s good to know what’s growing on you. If you find one, refer to Sagittarius.
Aries (March 21-April 19) All the deconstruction-construction got you down? It all looks better in black and white, photography that is. Start documenting the reconstruction, because one day you’re going to open your eyes and Portland will never be the same.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Glass shards on the bed leave lovers running red. Some things are more serious than you give them credit. Beware the sharp debris accumulating from your new relationship.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Soup Can shares your frustration. Honestly, where are the real graffiti artists in this town? This tagging crap is so Midwest suburbia.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) The answer is right there before your eyes – a different time warp maybe, but right there before your eyes. Careful where you step in the coming week.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Big landscapes are in your future. The kind that can blind the eye at the horizon’s edge. Don’t fret the crap in the foreground, look to the forested rolling hills beyond. ‘Course, dark woods get a little dicey in the dead of night, too.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Pity, the colors in the art store don’t match what you seem to see. But they do exist beyond the door. Soup Can’s looking at a few right now. Awesome!
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Whew, what a relief. The laws banning sitting on a downtown sidewalk are on hiatus. What? Don’t really care? You will when it comes your time.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You inhaled, you sucked it in, swirled it through lungs and sent it on its way. You can’t act like it never happened. Knowledge can be intoxicating. Just don’t light up in Pioneer Courthouse Square.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Figure on at least three weeks for it to heal. Don’t pick, don’t mess with it in any way, you’ll only make it fester. A few IPAs might help, though. Cream stouts, if necessary.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Ahh, it’s that mellow post-holiday, post-holiday quiet that settles in with this time of year. That’s what returns the blood to its normal pace. No rest for the wicked, though. Time to get moving again. Talk a walk to your local crazy store and spend some dough.
