April Fools Edition: Ask the editor: A once-a-year opportunity to speak to ME!
Dear editor:
I picked up your newspaper last week and was quite disappointed. You claim to want to help the homeless, yet, unlike every other newspaper in town, you fail to even dedicate an inch of space to a crossword puzzle. I’m told, because I don’t usually bother to read your fish wrap, that you used to have a crossword puzzle, and even Sudoku, in your paper, but decided to remove it. Is the new editorial stance to punish people who want to support people experiencing homelessness?
— Pete
Managing Editor: New?
Dear editor:
I just moved into my condo in inner Northwest and feel unable to communicate with the neighborhood’s former residents. Do I call them a transient, a homeless person, a houseless person, an unhoused individual, a person experiencing homelessness, a domestically challenged resident, a road warrior or a bum?
— Roger
M.E.: Good question, Ryan. Any clues printed on the box they slept on last night?
Dear editor:
If I write something, will you print it?
— Shirley
M.E.: Done and done, Shirl! We couldn’t do it without our contributors!
Hundreds of readers wrote in to call us out on our coverage of the Pooch’n’Hooch’s annual “Bike for Beer Brigade” massacre (Street Roots, Feb. 30) in particular, people took offense to the headline, the descriptions used in the article, the graphic photos accompanying the story, and the bullet-point identifiers for the body parts. Many questioned our integrity as journalists and our whereabouts that night. Others wanted to know about the Office Cat.
Dear editor:
I heard that Rooty, the adorable Street Roots Office Cat, had some potty problems. Is he OK?
— Rick
M.E.: Kinda. Thanks Roy! (Look for news on the “Bike for Beer Brigade” tragedy in the next edition.)
Dear editor:
After winning numerous awards for your journalism through the Society of Professional Journalists, your honors through the North American Street Newspaper Association, the Skidmore Prize, and your ever-rising prestige in the community, you’d think you’d be able to get a friggin’ crossword in the goddamn paper!
— Hazel
M.E.: You’d think! Thanks, Howard!
Dear editor:
You suck!
— Frank
M.E.: I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Fred.
Thanks everyone, for writing in. Obviously we don’t have room for all of your questions, but we’d love to hear from you! Write to us at streetrootsnews@hotmail.com and as always, checks welcome! Mmmwahh!
Note: SR writes a satirical edition of the paper each April 1.
