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(Photo by Kristina Wright)

Charlie Hales forgets that he’s mayor

Street Roots
by Street Roots Staff | 5 Apr 2013

Insiders at City Hall say that 84-year-old Charlie Hales woke up on Monday morning and forgot he was mayor.

“There’s no need to worry,” says one of Hales’ three staff members. “He told people all along not to expect the status quo.”

Hales, who is responsible for introducing Portland’s streetcar, also known as the “Horse and Buggy Express,” says he’s perfectly comfortable forgetting things. “Remember Washington?”

“It’s not uncommon,” says one smug media consultant. “Both Bud Clark and Tom Potter forgot they were mayor on more than one occasion. Sometimes for long stretches.”

The consultant also says that even former Mayor Sam Adams doesn’t “remember” certain details about his first month in office. Most of Portland forgot Vera Katz was mayor at times.

Hales’ three staff declined to give details saying they were so overwhelmed with running the city that they didn’t think anything of Charlie not coming to work that day.

Majority of young Portlanders think Adams still mayor

A survey or Portland residents ages 14 to 24 shows that 63 percent think Sam Adams is still mayor.

Nearly all said they don’t read newspapers, but get their news from social media such as Twitter and Facebook.

“Sam’s alright,” said one smartphone user being seen at a popular dumpling shop. “His Tweets keep me informed of what he’s doing at City Hall and stuff.”

Adams didn’t run for reelection. Charlie Hales became mayor of Portland this year.

“I think Sam’s been good for the city,” said another youthful supporter with income potential. “I’m glad he’s out there online to talk to the people. He’s really responsive to what people have to say. I like that in a mayor.”

Another bespectacled bystander said her friends back in Ohio have become Adams’ newest fans, thanks to reruns of “Portlandia.”

“They say it must be so cool to have a hip young mayor,” she said. “I tell them, ‘Yeah, it is.’”

This article is part of Street Roots' annual satire edition released each year for April Fools Day.

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