Read excerpts from the Portland Veteran’s Project, high school junior Kendall Duffie’s interviews of local veterans
The Portland Veteran’s Project came out of the blue for me. I knew I liked history and writing, but it only came together when I had the chance to visit Washington, D.C., last year on a school trip. Our group was running perpetually late, so we didn’t get to go to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial until around midnight on our last night. The memorial was deserted, allowing us to each go through individually and have a personal experience with the wall.
I started to wonder what had happened to every person on that wall. And I realized that the only way to get an idea of what they’d been through was by learning about what the survivors had lived through. I realized that there were veterans around me that I didn’t even know: a man at the church where I work, my grandfather, friends’ uncles and aunts. I started asking them questions, and I realized that other people would benefit from hearing what they had to say. The Portland Veteran’s Project was born.
I’ve heard some truly amazing stories, so many of them events that I’ve learned about in history, that I’ve read about and studied, but that became real when I heard it first-person. It seems impossible that the people sitting across from you – some of who use a wheelchair or have had limbs amputated – have jumped from planes, scaled mountains, mended soldiers and sailed across the world, but they did. You feel like you’re there right with them.
I truly believe these people have lived something extraordinary. I always ask my veterans this question last: How do you think service affected your life? What do you want the public to know? One response has stuck with me in a way that I hadn’t experienced before. I knew I would never forget what this World War II veteran said. He told me, “You have to fight for what you feel is right. People are the same all over the world. They want one thing. They want safety for their family, they want a home, and they want an ability to support their home.”
I feel so honored and grateful to hear these stories and to share them with the community. While I am not personally planning to join the military, this project has changed me. It made me more considerate and opened my mind to new opinions and viewpoints. I will be forever grateful.
The following are excerpts from interviews high school junior Kendall Duffie conducted with Portland veterans. You can read the complete interviews on the Portland Veteran's Project website .
Author’s note: I wanted the veterans to be able to tell me the whole, uncensored truth, while also protecting their privacy, so I’ve only used their initials and birth year when introducing them. I’ve also only used commission photos, or photos from their era, for the same reasons. – Kendall Duffie
A.L.
Age: 88
Service: Army artillery, second lieutenant, first lieutenant. Korea.
In Korea, I served at the 38th parallel, attached to a platoon of the 7th division. As I mentioned, I was a forward observer, and I was facing a hill called Old Baldy. I arrived in Korea in March of 1953. I knew something was up, because instead of putting me on a troop ship to Korea, they put me on a Pan Am chartered airline and flew me there. When I got there, they said, “We don’t need you to shoot down airplanes anymore because they’ve all been shot down. We’d like you to be a forward observer.” I said, “Why is that?” They said, “We have a shortage of forward observers because of casualties.” Great for my morale.
Tell me about any specific memories or experiences that stand out.
I think the thing that bothered me the most was when I was out at the radar station, and I was told that the Chinese had infiltrated my outpost, Westview. My replacement had become a casualty. That was very depressing. It could’ve been me. Seventy-two hours later, the war was over. I realized how stupid this whole thing was: The war was stupid. The other thing I recall (was that) most of the senior, professional Army people felt that the war was never won, that there’s a stalemate. I think that 43,000 young Americans got killed for no purpose, for no reason at all. I felt very bad about that, as an adult. I feel bad about the Vietnam war. I feel bad about a lot of things – about what’s going on in the Middle East today. But, at that point, I just felt how lucky I was that I wasn’t there, but also sad. That was the first time, in the history of the United States, without a victory. That was a shame. Today, we have this problem with Korea, because we never won the war. Had we won the war, we wouldn’t be in the fix we are today.
Do you remember the day Pork Chop Hill was attacked?
July 6, 1953, at 11 o’clock. I can’t remember what I had for breakfast this morning, but I know exactly what I saw on July 6, 1953. It was the most unbelievably horrible sight I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ll never forget it. It was just terrible. Thousands of Chinese swarming up the hill against a small unit of American soldiers on the South post. It lasted five days, and in five days, the management decided to pull out. They left Pork Chop and turned the hill over to the Chinese. We had 273 casualties in five days – heavy. How many casualties were there in the Chinese? We counted 1,500. I could see Chinese stacked two or three deep in the trenches. It’s hard to even think about it, because it was just seeing your friends – your brothers – massacred. (People) ask, “Did you ever kill anyone?” I have to be careful how I answer that question. I say, “I never pulled a trigger. I have no idea how many casualties I created. All I know, if I saw enemy activity, I just called the coordinates to my artillery. If there were casualties, I have no idea.” That’s how I (get) out of that question.
Has serving in the military affected any decision-making today?
I think so. As I say, I think I’m disciplined in a lot of ways. I try to be careful. I think the experience was helpful to me in the long run. I didn’t think so at first (laughter). I enjoy going to the service clubs, and talking about the war and my experiences. I really enjoy going through all these thank-you notes. I think I’m doing some good.
I would like to include the following observation: We enjoy our freedom, as long as we have young Americans who are willing to look beyond their own comfortable lives, go to dangerous places, (and) hunt down those who would do us harm. They are to be respected and admired.
A.D.
Age: 43
Service: Army, E4 specialist, first lieutenant, captain. Afghanistan and Iraq.
On returning from service:
There was a point at which the transition from the time difference was a little bit tricky; you’re used to staying up. It’s a full cycle. I remember at one point being awake, and laying in bed, like, “This is stupid. I can’t go to sleep. I should just get up and do stuff. I’m just going to run to Walmart, because I know they’re open 24 hours, and I know I need to pick up a few things.” I distinctly remember walking into Walmart at like 3 in the morning. The lights were super bright, and I remember being in the toothpaste aisle, because I needed toothpaste, and I’m (thinking), “This is crazy. How is it that we have 40 different toothpastes to pick from?” Because I had just spent nine months going to the (post exchange) that had two. I literally had to sit down in the aisle for a moment, to catch my breath, because I’m like, “I don’t remember how to do this anymore. How do I pick this?” But then I got better. I can see where people get overwhelmed, and can’t get out of that to find their way back.
How did your military service affect how you think about wars today?
I try to remain neutral in that I try to remember that the people who are being sent over there are being sent over there to do a job. They may not agree with the job, but they volunteered, and they signed up, so they’re going to do the job. I think that people that haven’t been through that experience maybe don’t realize that. I’ve had people who have tried to get into a philosophical debate over the war in Afghanistan or Iraq. I point to things like, because we were in Afghanistan, little girls were able to go to school. Who are you to say, “Well, we shouldn’t have gone into Afghanistan”? So basically, you’re saying that you wanted to allow that to happen? To not let little girls be allowed to go to school? Then, they get into, “Well, the culture, blah blah blah.” Well, I understand their culture, but my way of thinking is all little girls should have that. That, to me, is a fundamental right. If there’s a culture that’s denying that right to a subset of people, then I do think that we need to help those people. I try to turn it around that way.
Probably the biggest thing I did (in Iraq was) to authorize the expenditure of some money that allowed a part to be flown in that was then used to fix the pump that allowed a whole town of people to have running water. They hadn’t had running water because someone had spoken out in the town against (Saddam Hussein), so he cut off that person’s hand, and then broke their pump, so the whole town was punished. We don’t understand things like that, because we don’t have a government that does that. As much as people think our government is so terrible and awful, when you put it into perspective like that, it’s very different.
R.H.P.
Age: 87
Service: Navy, lieutenant, junior grade. Served on a destroyer in the Pacific Ocean near Korea.
Did you see any combat at any of the places you went? What was that like?
One of the nicest experiences in life is to be shot at and missed.
Do you remember what some of the most difficult parts of the war were?
The environment was difficult at times, especially during the winter. Being off the coast of Korea in the winter was like being in Nome, Alaska, or something. The wind came out of Siberia. We had saltwater freezing on the topside of our ship, and it was really miserable. I took my hat off to those carrier pilots that were flying during World War II in those carriers, which were not really designed for jets yet. Occasionally we’d have some experience where there would be a loss of life. Not on our ship, but a pilot shot down, or maybe one of the mine sweepers had hit a mine. There were some difficult times.
Do you have any specific memories that stand out to you?
I remember the excitement and challenges of meeting your duties, whatever it was with (carrier fleets) Task Force 77 and 95. Another interesting thing that happened to us was after we got back from our second cruise back to Pearl Harbor, we were almost immediately sent down to the Marshall Islands, for a thing called Operation Castle. You know about Bikini and all the atomic bomb tests? We were in Operation Castle, which was the 1954 hydrogen bomb. The hydrogen bomb in ’54 was four or five times bigger than the engineering people, the scientists, had thought it would be. We were about 20 miles away from the bomb site – Blast Bravo. Blast Bravo was about a thousand times bigger than the bombs dropped on Hiroshima or Nagasaki. What happened, unfortunately, was the weather: Wind was blowing from one space which was safe on the lower stratosphere, and the upper stratosphere was going the opposite direction, and the atomic debris fell onto all of us and the Marshall Islands. The islands had to be evacuated. Our ship was the most heavily radiated ship ever in the history of the Navy. Some of our crew were burned. I wasn’t affected, but I’ll tell you, the bomb blast was … spectacular.
What was it like?
Frightening. It turned night into day. Everything was illuminated. We weren’t supposed to look, to turn away and (use) goggles, but you had to look at some point. You would just think, “Anybody who would propose nuclear warfare would be totally demented.”
Where were you? I’m assuming you were inside, because you didn’t get burned.
I was on the bridge. I did not get burned, but some of my crewmates did, who were exposed. We had wash-down systems, kind of like sprinkler systems, to pump saltwater on the ship exterior to wash away anything, and we used that. The Navy wasn’t very good about that, about (the) aspects of atomic radiation exposure, for a long time. People were suffering, and not just in (the) Marshall Islands and so forth, but military people down in the desert that were exposed to some of those atomic tests were also suffering. It took a long time for the Veterans Administration to recognize that illness that some had had. It was kind of like the handling of Agent Orange in Vietnam. They denied that Agent Orange was a problem, and then they finally admitted it was terrible problem.
G.M.D.
Age: 97
Service: Maritime service as a radio operator, Army, trained as mountain ski troops. World War II, Europe.
What were some of the most difficult moments during service?
When you’re face-to-face with Germans, and they’re shooting at you, and you have to shoot back. It’s either they’re going to kill you, or you’re going to kill them. I have an aversion to killing people. I tried to wound them, but sometimes you can’t. They’re shooting right at you, right at your face, (and) you have to shoot back, and you don’t know whether you’re going to kill them or not. That is the most horrible thing to me. I have a conscience, and I still have nightmares about that.
When did you learn about German prison camps like Auschwitz?
We knew what was going on while we were there. After the war was over, I was still in the hospital. They brought in a lot of the American boys that had been in prison in Germany. They were starved almost to death. They brought them into the hospital I was in, and some of them were so thin they couldn’t lay them on a bed. They used straps and suspended them from the ceiling. One of the nurses that was supposed to take care of these boys fainted when she saw them, and then she refused to go in that room again. I would walk by and I should’ve gone in and talked to them. All they could do was – their eyes would follow you. They were so far gone; they were merely skeletons. It was horrible looking, the look in all of those American prisoners they brought into the hospital after the war.
I knew what was going on. I went to the graveyard where all of our boys were, the 50 that got killed the first day. And there was something like 500 airmen that had gone out and never came back. They had no record of whether they were in prison, or whether they were dead. That really hit me. Of the original planes that took off, only 50 percent of them ever came back – the bombers. We lost a lot of young boys flying those airplanes. Every morning I’d see the planes take off, and go over to bomb the oil fields. At night, we’d see the planes come back. We never counted them, but we (know) their casualties were huge.
Do you think there is anything the general public should know about war?
I think the general public should know that it’s people like you and I that are killing each other, and it’s the big manufacturers that started the war. (They’re) the ones that are profiting from it. Just think of all the airplanes that Boeing sells. Just think of all the rifles that Winchester sells. Those companies cause war. You and I don’t cause wars. I’ve met German people over there that supported their soldiers, just like we supported ours. The fact that we’re killing each other, that’s the biggest crime there is.
I feel people all over the world are the same. All they want is security for their families, they want a home to protect their families, they want a job so they can support their families. It’s the same all over the world. Why are we allowing the politicians to put us in war? I look right now at our president. He is not doing anything to prevent a war. He’s just showing off and doing what he wants, not what he feels the nation should want. We don’t want war. We’ve spent money we should’ve spent on education on buying $50 million war weapons. One of our fighter planes costs $4 million to $5 million apiece. Just think what we could do for our education, for our kids in school, if we’d spent that money on education. I am very, very angry at all of our politicians. Big money buys them off, and they vote for things that they want. That’s what’s so bad. I grew up a Republican, but I am not OK with what the Republicans are doing now. I think it’s all wrong.
G.E.R.
Age: 74
Service: Army, first lieutenant. Vietnam and Fort Benning, Ga.
What were the most trying and difficult moments of service?
The firefights, because that was always hard. You’re in an extremely high state of activity and anxiety. Being a platoon leader, the job was to maintain your cool, organize your guys, direct fire and do all those things. You’re trying to concentrate on what’s going on, and the noise is pretty horrific. It’s very disorienting. That’s one of the hardest things about the firefights. It’s so disorienting because of the noise. All the guns going off. You had machine guns, small-arms fire – you sometimes had rockets. If we called in gunships, we would have just an array of rockets from the gunships. (We had) mini-guns that just sounded like a roar. You don’t hear any individual shots being fired. My recollection is, they would fire something like 3,000 rounds a minute. It was just literally a roar coming from the helicopter. Or you’d have artillery being brought in. When you had artillery being brought in, it was always very close to you. Our artillery guys were crazy. (Laughs).
Did you have a family after the war? How did the war affect this?
I did have a family after the service – two boys. I don’t think it impacted me that way, (but it) certainly had an impact. You have a kind of come-to-Jesus moment. It certainly impacts your view of life, and what’s important, what’s not important. The frivolous kinds of things became even more frivolous to me, and had no meaning whatsoever. I didn’t tolerate that very well from other people.
How did your military service affect how you think about wars today?
That war achieves nothing. I just couldn’t say it any clearer. It achieves nothing. Unless you are defending your own country from assault, then there is no reason for us to be there. I see the Iraq and Afghanistan (wars) as totally worthless. They’re the same stupidity that we exhibited for Vietnam. I don’t think they have a rational basis. It would take a lot for me to justify going to war again.
What do you think the general public should know about war?
That’s a double-edged sword. In my mind, I think everybody should go through a traumatic experience such as that to give their own life some meaning, give them a stronger moral compass perhaps. A political compass, I suppose, so that they have some idea of what a real war is like and what it does to people – which is not a good thing. They just need to know that.
Kendall Duffie is a junior at Oregon Episcopal School, a college preparatory school in Portland.
