By Ann Derrick Gaillot, Contributing Writer
Michelle Sapp has bright eyes and an open face that smile
easily. She is an adept conversationalist who speaks with a bouncy Texas lilt,
who loves to talk to new people, who loves to read. Who loves to joke around,
relax, have people sign, write and draw in a notebook she calls her yearbook.
Who has a genuine, contagious energy and enthusiasm for life. She radiates all
of this positivity and goodwill even when she is exhausted from a long night
without sleep and a long day waiting in various lines for access to the most
basic of human needs.
Michelle, like many women, is currently experiencing
homelessness and poverty. But through hard emotional and spiritual work that
she keeps on the inside, she has been able to maintain her strong vivacious
spirit, her love of life, and her determination and belief in herself.
A Fort Worth native who has been in the Pacific Northwest
for the past 15 years, Michelle started selling Street Roots six-months ago
after moving from Vancouver to Portland, where she found the resources for
single women experiencing homelessness and poverty to be more abundant. Besides
the practical reasons, Michelle also just loves the city and the people.
“I tell people, in the South, everybody waves at you ’cause
that’s the proper thing to do,” she says. “But up here, when they wave at you
they actually wanna see how you’re doing, you know, I like that.”
An admittedly talkative and social person, Michelle’s love
of life and others helped her settle right into the Portland lifestyle.
However, despite her love of socializing, Michelle at first found it hard to
take to selling Street Roots.
“You get worn out. It’s hard sometimes because you get
rejection,” she says. “And I’ve done telemarketing work, and over the phone
rejection is one thing, but when you have face-to-face rejection it daps into
my self-esteem a little bit… You don’t want to be out there with people looking
at you funny or treating you different.” However, over the course of a few
months Michelle learned to ignore the fear of rejection that often kept her
from going out to sell the paper, thanks to the help of a few kind customers.
“When I’m able to have people that really enjoy the paper come by for me and
they’re like, ‘Oh, I love this paper. Thank you so much for being out here,’”
she beams. “It’s like wow! Cool!”
Over the past two months, Michelle has taken anew to selling
the paper and now dedicates herself to it daily as she would to any other job,
helping build up her self-esteem and connect more easily with the people while
she sells.
“I show people, and say, ‘Hey, how was your day at work?’
‘How’s your day?’ I’m like, ‘My work day’s going great!’ I’m actually working
and that makes me feel more confident in myself.”
Building such self-confidence is no easy feat for anyone,
never mind the hundreds of thousands of American women experiencing
homelessness who every day must cope with the financial and emotional stresses
of poverty as well as the constant threat of street harassment, violence and
sexual assault. In order to stay safe from harm, Michelle remains constantly
vigilant and sticks with a male partner or in a group. Additionally, Michelle
must protect herself from what she calls others’ “negativity,” namely
hopelessness, anger, and general ill will.
Looking forward, Michelle aims to continue to push herself
as a saleswoman, eventually claiming a turf of her own and building a clientele
of regular buyers. In the coming weeks, Michelle also intends to take and
complete the 15-hour Rent Well tenant education program provided by Housing
Connections, her next step at getting into a permanent home. Though there are
many hard steps ahead to securing the life she wants for herself, Michelle is
determined to put her all into each and every one, undaunted by the big goals
she has set for herself. Michelle is her own biggest cheerleader, but, as with
all of us, it is the random moments of kindness and human connection that get
her back on track when the world and life seem bleak. If you pass Michelle
selling Street Roots downtown, share a kind word with her. Indeed, her
enthusiastic response and warm smile will brighten your day and perhaps even
strengthen your belief in the power and resilience of the human spirit.
This article appears in 2013-03-01.