We’ve profiled vendor Harry Richards in the past, but this reflection looks at a new development in his life. A couple of months ago, Street Roots vendor Harry Richards met his 33-year-old daughter Amanda for the first time.
Well, it may have been the first time. Amanda remembers her mom taking her to Lloyd Center when she was about 8 years old “to meet her dad.” She walked around the mall for an hour or so with somebody, but she doesn’t remember much. Then, when she was 11, Amanda received a letter she believes was from her biological dad. Decorated with artwork characteristic of Harry, it could have been from him. Her mother took it away and ripped it up.
Amanda was raised by a mother with a serious mental illness. She married when Amanda was about 5 and had two more children, a boy five years younger than Amanda and a girl seven years younger than Amanda. Both struggle with mental illness. Her mother was gone for months at a time.
Amanda’s mom brushed off her questions about her biological father, making up stories about his whereabouts and saying his family didn’t want to know her.
“I lived my whole life thinking I don’t need that, I have my own family,” Amanda said. But the fact was she really wanted to know. She puzzled over the father’s name given her birth certificate. The name was not Harry Richards. Who was her dad? She came to believe her mom made the name up.
Amanda left home at 18, married, had two sons, now aged 8 and 11. She remarried in 2017.
Her new husband, knowing her questions, gifted her a DNA kit from 23andMe for Christmas.
There, she found one of Harry’s five sisters, Mona, who was on 23andMe because her husband was looking for his own birth family. Mona had already found the twin daughters of one of Harry’s sisters and another sister.
Amanda met with Mona. They wondered whether to tell Harry.
“We worried it might have hurt him to hear the things he missed out on, all the things that happened to me,” she said. When they did tell Harry, he didn’t believe it at first. A paternity test, though, showed a 99 percent match.
Eventually, Amanda met Harry’s sisters. Turns out they’d been neighbors once, all of them living in Hillsboro at one time or another. “I was pretty sure I’d seen one of them in the grocery store,” Amanda said.
A couple weeks after Easter, Amanda met Harry. His sister Diane came along. “It was kind of awkward,” she said. “What do you say after 33 years?” They talked about Harry, his life and his art.
The second time she took her husband and sons. That was great. “The kids really adore him,” Amanda said. “The boys have other grandparents, but they live in different states. So Harry is really important to them.”
In fact, “he’s kind of like a big kid himself,” she said. They went to Oaks Park for Father’s Day, played the carnival games and went roller skating. Harry wanted to go on all the rides. “He was way more into wanting to do all the things than even the kids were,” Amanda said. “We had a great time.”
Their friendship is growing. At first, Amanda’s dad just wanted her and her kids to call him “Harry.” But that’s changed. Now Harry is on board with “Grandpa” and “Dad.” And while she’s just figuring out what it means to have a dad, Amanda is excited about this journey. She’s planning to get together once a month or so, doing fun things and catching up with Harry.
“And now I also have a whole family – aunts, cousins, I never knew I had,” she said. “From everything I heard growing up, I thought Harry’s family wanted nothing to do with me. It’s been just the opposite. They’ve been really welcoming.”
“It’s been an interesting journey, and not just for me.”
See Harry Richards at Southwest Sixth and Alder Street.
Street Roots is an award-winning, nonprofit, weekly newspaper focusing on economic, environmental and social justice issues. Our newspaper is sold in Portland, Oregon, by people experiencing homelessness and/or extreme poverty as means of earning an income with dignity. Learn more about Street Roots