Street Roots wanted to learn more about what being able to relax means when you don’t have a home. We shouldn’t have been surprised that this exploration turned into conversations about stress on the streets.
An intense job interview or narrowly catching the bus might cause an immediate and even thrilling dose of stress, called acute stress, according to the Mayo Clinic. Not all stress comes in small spurts, however. Chronic stress is “grinding stress that wears people away day after day, year after year,” a form of stress that can be debilitating, according to the American Psychological Association.
This stress can result in serious psychological and physical health consequences, such as anxiety, insomnia and a weakened immune system. The American Institute of Stress has compiled an exhaustive list of 50 common symptoms of stress that includes difficulty making decisions, depression, trouble learning, lack of care in appearance, and rapid and mumbled speech.
Like many psychological conditions, chronic stress manifests in diverse and sometimes nonlinear ways. In addition to daily uncertainties such as finding the next meal or staying dry during a rainy night, people who are or have recently been homeless often carry childhood trauma, which may contribute to deep and sometimes crippling stress.
For 13 years, Mykel Garner lived on the streets and faced immeasurable stress. He was abandoned by his grandmother to Child Protective Services when he was 8, and since then, he has lived in more than 10 group homes, struggled with addiction, been shot three times, and spent time in a psychiatric hospital.
“When I was on the streets, I didn’t have a choice,” he said. “I had to just be submissive and admit that I had been beaten, and basically in the end, I just wanted to die. I tried so many times to just give up.”
Despite these challenges, about three years ago, Garner felt the most relaxed he had in a long time. He was clean and sober with a sponsor and attending recovery meetings. Garner felt accepted, hopeful and a part of something.
Around that same time, Garner was also moving into his apartment, where he has lived for the past two years. While it alleviated many of the stressors he had faced on the streets, moving into an apartment also introduced new ones. The owners of his housing unit have tried to evict him four times, Garner said, and now he has been getting ill in his room and feels he’s been unable to be effectively diagnosed.
“Now, with housing, it’s like someone has control over me, and they basically have control over … (my) life or death. If I go back to the streets the way I am, I don’t think I’ll make it without going to prison or getting killed,” he said. “I just don’t see myself making it because it took everything I had to make it through everything I did this far in life.”
FURTHER READING: Life on the Streets: Stories about the parts of homelessness most people don’t talk about
Heather Harrington has been living on the streets for two years, and like many homeless individuals, she faces the daily stress of making enough money, keeping warm despite harsh weather conditions, and protecting her belongings from theft. She also has to navigate those living around her.
“I’ve never seen so many people who seem lost, and they need help,” she said. “They’re just wandering around ... talking to themselves or sleeping in the middle of the sidewalk or screaming at the top of their lungs to someone who’s not there. It’s stressful. It puts me on edge.”
Amy Turco, who has been living on the streets for about two years, also finds it difficult to navigate other people living on the streets, especially with heightened noise levels under the Morrison Bridge and lack of privacy.
“When there’s more than a few people in the same area that (my boyfriend and I) are at, that becomes a little stressful because the privacy breaks,” she said.
Turco, though, has been able to find relaxation in both nature and in her job at Starbucks. Turco recently went to the Japanese Rose Gardens and visited The Grotto. Turco said she loved experiencing nature – the streams, birds and flowers – as well as the peaceful church music.
At her job, Turco is also able to relax and enjoy spending time with her co-workers.
“I laugh a lot at work. I like the people I work with, and they bring the laughter out of me, especially when I’m really feeling down,” she said. “One of my co-workers brings in this Bluetooth speaker, and at night when we’re washing dishes and cleaning up, she’ll play it, so I dance.”
Turco and her boyfriend are looking for apartments, but they both enjoy the occasional times they can spend a night in a motel and relax watching television.
John Smith, finding that his health became compromised after living in shelters for about 12 years, began living on the streets last year. Smith takes medication for high blood pressure, which he attributes to both his family history and the extreme stress of being homeless.
“Being out on the streets, you never let your guard down because that’s when you end up getting hurt,” he said.
Sometimes, he is able to spend time at his wife’s home, as well as visit his daughters’ homes, where he can finally let his guard down and relax indoors. About a year ago, Smith went to his hometown, Sweet Home, to spend his birthday with his high school friends.
“I was in a safe place,” he said.
Jerrick Harrenstein lives in a shelter. He went there every night during the winter. Harrenstein battles with daily mental health issues and often feels like his stress is inflicted on him by his surroundings.
“I’m stressed out all the time. It’s part of life – my life,” he said.
He said he is able to relax in the shelter in the evenings, once his day is over.
Leo Rhodes, a homeless advocate, has been homeless for 30 years and has been in housing for the past eight. Rhodes was met with violence when living on the streets.
“I fell asleep on the waterfront, and I got hit over the head three times with a pipe. That brings a lot of stress on you,” he said.
Since he has been in housing, Rhodes still feels extreme stress, specifically due to several projects he is working on to aid and advocate for homeless individuals as a part of Right 2 Dream Too and other similar organizations.
Combining years of trauma with difficulties of daily stressors, those who are or have been homeless often live with lingering, and sometimes chronic, stress. Even so, these folks frequently show resilience in the way they are able to cope.
However, many people living on the streets have been through so much trauma and loss, leading to this chronic stress, that they are now unable to simply relax.
“I don’t feel relaxed ever living on the fucking streets,” Harrington said. “It takes a while to even feel relaxed again.
“I could go from here into a house, and I won’t be relaxed. I’ll never be the same. It’ll never be the same. It’s called PTSD, I think.”