Homeless on and off for years, Eileen was determined to get an apartment. And now, she has.
It’s a brand-new feeling for Eileen Vizenor, walking across a sunny park in downtown Portland, free of carrying her backpacked belongings with her.
“Hi, Eileen. Where’s your dog, Vicky?” a Street Roots customer asked in passing. “She’s at home,” Eileen said. “Home. I love that word.”
Eileen has experienced homelessness on and off since 2013.
“The first time I was homeless – back then I was like a scared little girl. Timid. Shy,” she said.
Between that moment and now, she’s become a strong, courageous and proud woman.
“All these years later,” she said, “I’m different. I never thought I could be this strong!”
Holding the keys to her new Alder House apartment, she’s thinking about other women who are feeling lost and scared, experiencing homelessness. It was only this past month that she moved into the apartment. Hers is a history she’d like someday to write, a resource she’d like to offer to help others.
VENDOR PROFILE: Eileen had her sights set on an apartment (June 2019)
To describe her journey, Eileen often uses three words: Drive, determination and fortitude.
Eileen found herself homeless when she returned to Portland in May after leaving an abusive relationship. Searching for shelter, she met many roadblocks: the necessity for a referral with no supporting agency, incompetent case managers, the need to continue down the paper trail while dragging her little dog around with her, even the closing of SAFES (Salvation Army Female Emergency Services) the shelter where she landed first.
“I got moved over to TPI SOS (Transition Projects / Safety Off the Streets). All these roadblocks,” she said. “But I don’t take no for an answer. I just keep going.”
Eileen said that her little dog, Vicky, is her motivation.
“And I’m a cradle Catholic,” Eileen said. “My faith keeps me going.”
Eileen volunteers at St. Andre Bessette Catholic Church on West Burnside and feels among family there. Street Roots staff, volunteers and vendors feel like family, too, she said.
A powerful source of personal strength and motivation for Eileen is writing.
“Writing is my therapy,” she said. “When I lived in the shelters, I’d sit in the bunk and read and write. I look forward to creative writing every Wednesday at Street Roots and at the Central Library. Writing gets stuff out of my head and onto the page so I can go forward. And I don’t throw any of my writing away. I can go back and read the old poems, and they remind me of how far I’ve come.”
Eileen’s three words – drive, determination and fortitude – come up when she talks about moving out of the shelter and securing her own housing.
“You gotta be motivated,” she said, “determined. You gotta knock on doors, don’t take no for an answer. You gotta fill out applications, stay on your case manager, go to apartments and back again and keep bugging people until they get tired of your requests. You’ve got to be your own advocate.”
Eileen calls Street Roots’ Rose City Resource guide the “perfect book.”
“I love it,” she said. “I found out about Street Roots back in 2013 from the Resource guide. It’s such an important tool! Use this resource wisely, and get to a place you can handle. I learned about shelters, meals, housing, pet support. I hope they never quit printing it. I love the size. I love the book.”
On a recent day in her kitchen, Eileen had dinner simmering in her slow cooker. She was planning how to arrange her belongings when she got them out of storage. She can’t wait to have her crafts and paints around her again. The advantages of having her own home are “too numerous to list,” she said. But many come immediately to mind.
“Peace of mind. My own space. You don’t have that in a shelter. Safety. Privacy. The chance for a good night’s sleep. Quiet times to write. I can cook! My dog doesn’t have to be tied up 24/7 to the end of the bunk. I don’t have to live out of bags; I can have everything under one roof. And I don’t have to live in fear.”
Eileen has the space now to think about her goals, about continuing to volunteer at St. Andre Bessette Catholic Church, about serving on the Pride Parade committee and the Street Roots zine committee. About getting dental work – and her driver’s license. About writing the story of her journey to help other women.
“I’m not the only woman that will go through this experience,” she said. “If they see where I started and where I’m at now … if I can inspire just one person to move forward to better themselves, to not give up.”
You’ll find Eileen and Vicky at the Multnomah County Central Library, Southwest 10th Avenue and Taylor Street, or at Daily Feast on the corner of Southwest 11th Avenue and Taylor Street. Be on the lookout for her poetry, which is often published in Street Roots. You’ll be rewarded by lines like this: “I want to come back as a tree / Trees are never homeless.”
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