Opinion | ‘Friendship is a concrete act of care’

Developing a deeper understanding of the benefits of building long-lasting relationships

by Shira Feinberg | 1 Jun 2022

What does a development team do? Do they develop an organization's structure? Or develop strategies to make more money? These questions circled around my head after my first meeting with Andrew, my soon-to-be internship supervisor at Street Roots. Sitting in my Dad’s living room in Santa Fe, I wondered what I could bring to the team.

I was connected to Street Roots through Tivnu, a service-oriented gap-year program for young adults. Tivnu is the Hebrew word for “to build” — as in to build justice. How would I build justice at Street Roots?

For the bulk of my internship, my days consisted of organizing data (a task I truly enjoyed), selling papers to vendors and conducting interviews to learn more about vendors. Operating mainly behind the scenes for the development team, I began to think that our main goal was to generate money for Street Roots’ funds. However, my understanding of development soon shifted, and my realization has changed how I understand my own power to build justice today.

This period of understanding all started when Andrew tasked me with reaching out to faith communities during the spring of 2022. As I scanned the spreadsheet of organizations to reach out to, I noticed that every cell was filled with the name of a church. Having done some interfaith work in Jewish and Islamic communities, I wondered if I could help connect Street Roots to the donation potential of mosques and synagogues. I thought of how Jewish communities who reflect on when they were homeless in Egypt, and Islamic communities who send money to refugees in Ukraine, were perfectly primed to focus on our local housing crisis. In my head, I was already opening crisp envelopes full of checks, excited to build up Street Roots’ bank account.

But when I pitched my idea, Andrew responded with “Yes, and.” Yes, reaching out to new folks is important. And there is more to development than asking for money. I was confused. Wasn’t my idea a great way to make money? What more could we want than cash?

Pausing, Andrew explained that while development is about making money, there is something behind the cash that really sustains us as an organization — relationships. It’s like the difference between chatting with a stranger and asking a good friend for support. A friend who knows you and cares about you is much more equipped to support you than a new, passing acquaintance. Street Roots wants money, yes, but we need friends if we hope to survive and grow in the long term.

I wondered about how in other areas of my life I had reduced my interactions with others to what I could potentially gain from them in the short-term, rather than appreciating and nurturing the relationship for its inherent value. This point hit home for me one morning waiting in the rain for my supervisor.

It was 9:00 a.m., and my supervisor had just texted me they were going to be late. I stood outside the side door, arms crossed as mist gathered on my sweater. I felt a bit like a vegetable in a supermarket display. People kept glancing at me weirdly as they passed on the street. After a few minutes, an officer approached me to see if I needed directions. I felt out of place standing on the sidewalk in my black slacks and clogs. Ten, then 20 minutes passed. Alone and without knowing when my supervisor would arrive, I felt nervous.

After a while, an older vendor came to join me. He wanted to know if he could get a new sleeping bag since a police officer had dumped his in a puddle. He decided to wait with me until my supervisor arrived. He lived on the street, one block over. I had to focus to make out his words as his voice was so low and raspy. I learned he was an English major, had read the Bible just for curiosity and struggled with addiction. As the slow trickle of folks continued to make their way past, they stopped to say hi to him. One man shared a cigarette. Another, a pastor, shared a hug. A pair of friends let me pet their dog as my companion chatted about their day. It seemed he knew everyone on the block.

Six months ago, standing next to someone who lived in a tent would have not been my idea of safety. But next to the vendor, the people passing us on the street transformed from possible threats to possible friends. It didn’t matter where he lived. The whole world felt safer with him by my side.

Although regretful, the honest truth is that the most important thing I learned at Street Roots was that connecting with others can be a form of activism. Friendship is a concrete act of care. I came to Street Roots unsure of how I could help make the world a better place. After eight months, I now feel empowered to nurture the relationships around me, and the ones I will find as I move forward. I am grateful to the Street Roots community for taking the time to offer an initial investment in me.

Thank you, Street Roots, for welcoming me over the past eight months!

Street Roots is an award-winning weekly publication focusing on economic, environmental and social justice issues. The newspaper is sold in Portland, Oregon, by people experiencing homelessness and/or extreme poverty as means of earning an income with dignity. Street Roots newspaper operates independently of Street Roots advocacy and is a part of the Street Roots organization. Learn more about Street Roots. Support your community newspaper by making a one-time or recurring gift today.