Editors at The
Oregonian were thrilled this week to highlight the success of their outdated
website by celebrating their 100,000 hateful comment.
The comment was
posted after The Oregonian reported that Amanda Fritz was actually a Socialist
from England who was working to destroy the restaurant industry by offering
workers $27 an hour for sick-time. The commenter whose name was “DON’T TREAD ON
ME,” noted, “Portlanders are a bunch of liberal, Sam Adams-loving whine-bags
who would tax their chickens if given a chance.”
“We attract a lot of
trolls, we even cater to them,” says one proud member of the newspaper’s esteemed
editorial board. “We know libertarians from around Oregon and Southwest
Washington have a lot to say, especially after they’ve had a few Natural
Lights.”
It’s thought that of
the 100,000 comments posted on The Oregonians website, about 63,000 were
actually hateful in one way or another, while the other 37,000 just targeted
young Portlanders, especially the immigrants and gays.
One editor from the
S&M section of the newspaper says they are proud to have an open forum,
saying it was an example of the power of a free press.
Our Oregon, a
labor-backed communist organization, immediately responded by sending out an
e-blast and press release of their own saying that The Oregonian’s publishers
were capitalist swine who didn’t deserve to see the light of day.
This article is part of Street Roots’ annual satire edition released each year for April Fools Day.