
This article is part of Street Roots’ annual satire edition released each year for April Fools Day. Get your copy today!

This article is part of Street Roots’ annual satire edition released each year for April Fools Day. Get your copy today!
Supporters like you keep our low-barrier work program and award-winning newspaper going.
Power Real Impact. Donate to Street Roots.
Donate to Street Roots today to help us continue providing award-winning investigative journalism and low-barrier income opportunities for our vendors. Because nonprofit news belongs to you.