Many families believe the first step toward solving Oregon’s foster home shortage is giving current foster parents a spot at the decision-making table.
“We weren’t treated like part of the team,” said Alicia Bigelow, a former foster parent from Portland, who said she never plans to do it again.
“It felt pretty crummy, for sure,” she said. “Especially with the lack of predictability. We thought things were going well, and then to have the rug pulled out so quickly, I don’t think we could risk that again.”
Bigelow said she and her husband were in the process of adopting their 4-year-old foster daughter when they were informed the little girl would be moving to a different family.
“Literally, five minutes before she was to be told she was moving, I was driving her home from school – she was in the backseat – and she said, ‘Momma, I want to be with you forever. Will you help me raise my babies when I’m an adult?’” said Bigelow.
The 4-year-old had been with the family for more than two years.
“I didn’t know what to say,” said Bigelow. “For her to go from that sentiment (in the car) to not seeing us again, less than 48 hours later, it just feels like it’s cruel and unusual – for her, especially.”
Bigelow believes she and her husband were penalized for taking a family trip to Morocco without their foster child, even though the couple had an approved respite caregiver. She also says she and her husband’s hesitation with moving forward with the adoption didn’t sit well with the Department of Human Services.
“I think my biggest complaint about the whole thing was (the state) not being up front about where the process was going,” said Bigelow. “It was all very cold. We really felt like we’d been used.”
Bigelow shared her frustrations online with other foster parents and learned about a bill that could have an impact.
House Bill 2337 would establish an ombudsman to assist with foster parent concerns and complaints. The bill also calls for an ombudsman advisory commission to monitor the foster parent ombudsman and report back to the governor and Legislature.
Bigelow believes an ombudsman could have helped her family address concerns during the adoption process to avoid the disruption and, subsequently, could have helped them and their foster daughter deal with the aftermath with a smoother transition.
“There are no supports in place to be like, ‘Here, let’s patch up the wound a bit,’” Bigelow said. “There’s nothing.”
“How can her little nervous system ever settle down again if she thinks, in two days, her whole life could change again, and all of what she has known is going to be gone?”
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Bigelow and other members of the group, Foster Parents Together, shared their stories last month with the House Committee on Human Services and Housing. The group’s co-facilitator and former foster parent, Mary Schoen-Clark, testified that foster parent input needs to be accepted and valued during critical decision-making about a child.
“The most concerning thing I’ve been hearing from foster parents in our group lately is the sense of retribution,” said Schoen-Clark. “People will have a concern about their foster child and will be advocating for them, and they’ll get a message that you’re risking your license, or you’re being too aggressive, we want you to pull back or you’re undermining the plan.”
Schoen-Clark said foster parents can go up the chain of command at DHS to voice their concerns – and they often do – but after that point, they don’t have anywhere to go.
“You know, it’s some child’s life at stake,” Schoen-Clark said. “It’s not like you can just talk to a supervisor and it doesn’t work out, so you say, ‘I guess I’m done.’”
Bigelow also believes an ombudsman could help foster parents understand their rights. In retrospect, she regrets signing certain paperwork after her disruption that removed her “caretaker status” with her former foster child.
“It would have been better to have a better lay of the land,” she said. “But we didn’t have any idea what it all meant.”
Schoen-Clark said HB 2337 is not in its best form yet since it contains a possible conflict of interest with DHS supervising the ombudsman position. Foster Parents Together would prefer the position be completely independent of DHS.
On Monday, March 4, Rep. Duane Stark (R-Grants Pass) and Rep. Tawna Sanchez (D-Portland) introduced a separate bill (HB 3254) that would establish an “Office of Oregon Ombudsmen” to provide administrative services and support to many different ombudsmen in the state, including the Office of the Foster Parent Ombudsman.
Schoen-Clark sees potential challenges for the ombudsman, including how to prioritize complaints and deal with a backlog of concerns, but she hopes lawmakers will focus on how this position will not only help foster parents, but also the children.
“It’s going to have to be a very unique person to handle the job,” said Schoen-Clark. “They’ll have to be strong, knowledgeable, have a heart for the kids in these situations and, of course, not be intimidated by forces who might not want that person to be effective.”
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